Digging Deep

I have to say I was already feeling intense trepidation before my run today. My last run where I fell and hurt my knees (& ego), really took a toll on my positive outlook. The viral bronchitis setback also has had me wondering if I would lose all of my recent gains as I struggled to just do a few miles, so I was scared before heading out today.

I used my inhaler and set out to do a minimum of 6 miles but hoping for more. The first 3 miles were tough but I was determined to keep going to 4 miles and turn around. I was experimenting with walking less and seeing how I feel...but my running pace was still slower than my norm, I was clearly still battling the effects of being sick the last 2 weeks. It's hard not to feel disappointed when you have been stronger, faster and in better shape not so long ago but now it feels so very far away. And running in general feels like its all uphill.

With all that though, I completed 8 miles...My knees are sore, as was the bottom of one foot- I seem to limp quite a bit after my run all Sunday.

So here I am- vacillating between pushing myself to do the Malibu Half this next weekend or giving myself an additional week and doing the PV Half ....I feel like right now, given my long run performance, either is going to be tough...I am still coughing and tired when I had hoped I would be approaching the race strong and more confident. Thank god for endorphins- they keep me pushing, and numb the pain when I hit the wall around mile 8. I was grateful to stop at 8 this weekend...just ready to rest my body instead of pushing onward.

Maybe this November race will be less about a good time and more about just finishing- that was my original goal, right?... Perhaps, Austin can be my race about personal bests....perhaps I need to lay off myself and just congratulate myself for the effort...many people do not even try. Even if I come in DFL (dead f'ng last) I will have completed something I never even dreamed I was capable of doing.
 

I need to find some more encouraging words to help me get to the finish line this month and just be happy with how far I have come. It's about setting a goal and completing it..it's too easy to compare myself to others- I need to remember the race is with myself and no one else.
 

"It's not about how fast I get there, it's not about what's waiting on the other side.... its the climb!"